


The One With Laser Tag

by arrafrost



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Laser Tag, M/M, Public Sex, Roommates Headcanon, because scarring Bob for all eternity is fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-17
Updated: 2012-11-17
Packaged: 2017-11-18 20:31:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/564994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arrafrost/pseuds/arrafrost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Public Sex + Laser Tag = best weekend ever!</p><p>Because there is never enough public sex and you'd be kidding yourself if you denied that laser tag wouldn't make Peter and Wade hot.</p><p>Part of my headcanon where Weasel, Bob, Peter and Wade are housemates - oh the dysfunction!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One With Laser Tag

“We're not playing laser tag.” Weasel spoke without taking his eyes off the computer screen. He could see his three excited roommates bouncing in the reflection of the screen behind him with the world's stupidest idea above their heads.

“He's only saying that because he's a sore loser afraid to get his ass kicked, Deadpool style,” Wade paused in his bouncing to glare at his roommate that might as well have been physically attached to his electronic box.

“Wade. You pulled out a real gun with a laser scope and killed five people!” 

  
This time Weasel spun around in his chair, eyes fixed on the mercenary as he adjusted his glasses. 

Wade shrugged, barely acknowledging the gaping and terrified expression from Bob's face that was strangely exposed and Peter's raised eyebrow as it judged him with his better morals. “They weren't playing it properly.”

Peter and Weasel shared a look. Wade hated when they shared that look. It meant that laser tag was being vetoed.

“How about...” Peter began. Weasel's expression dropped to something that shouted 'Peter you horrid traitor' while Wade rolled up onto his toes to stretch in anticipation, “you promise to leave all your weapons at home and we can go play laser tag.”

“What exactly is going to keep him from smuggling weaponry into the building?” Weasel asked, even though it was more of a statement than a question because nothing could keep Wade from hiding something somewhere on his body.

“I'll take care of that.” Peter smirked confidently and Wade fell back to the balls of his feet with great disappointment.

Bob's brows furrowed in confusion as he finally worked up the courage to enter the conversation they were all having. “This is Wade. You'd have to strip him naked to-”

Peter's grin spread wider as his eyes flickered from Bob's puzzled expression to casually and slowly take in Wade's form from head to toe.

Weasel shuddered, turning away from Peter's eyes as they mentally undressed Wade Wilson in front of them – thank god he didn't have those kind of powers. It took a moment for Bob to comprehend but as soon as it clicked he let out a disturbed squeak of terror and fled from the room, shielding his eyes and screaming his allegiance to HYRDA.

\- - - - - - - - - -

Laser tag was actually fun, entertaining and non-lethal for the four roommates. Peter had kept his promise to force Wade to keep him promise of not bringing along weapons of any sort. Bob was going to have nightmares during the night because of it but that was a sacrifice they were all willing to make. Wade hadn't even managed to sneak in that invisible knife he had lying around the house... somewhere...

Wade was, of course, getting the highest score – being a highly unprofessional professional mercenary gave you those sort of tactical skills. Next was Peter and Weasel constantly fighting for second place. Weasel was better at hiding in one area, sniping his opponents, bringing calculations and statistics into the equation to give him the upper hand. Peter was spry on his feet, silent and stealthy, popping up out of no where even after promising not to climb on the ceiling or walls the entire game. Out of all three... Peter was the most trustworthy so no one called cheat on him.

Then there was Bob. Zero points, if not negative. Squeaking in terror at every beeping sound his gun or vest emitted, shrieking his location to the others whenever someone snuck up on him with a pledge to HYDRA that had earned them questionable looks from the staff each time they exited the room. Needless to say... Bob was the easiest target.

It wasn't until their seventh round of laser tag that evening that things had gotten quiet. Wade wasn't running around screaming like a maniac as he managed to dodge every single shot aimed at him while tagging everyone else. Weasel believed it had to be a tactic change, hide away until everyone thought he'd given up and then pop out of the most terrifying and implausible location to scare them all – more specifically Bob – shitless.

It was five minutes into their eight minute game when Weasel stood up from his hunkered down position. The only times he'd heard “Hail HYDRA” was the three times he had shot Bob as he wandered past. Either Bob had grown a spine or he had finally curled up into a ball of anxiety and stress. Except Weasel didn't hear the telltale sounds of crazed muttering from a rocking loon so it had to be neither of those options and he would have to investigate.

Which was the biggest mistake of his life. As he rounded a corner into the far left of the playing area he nearly shot himself in the eyes with his laser gun to blind himself, recoiling immediately and covering his eyes with his free hand.

Peter was gasping in front of him, hands bracing himself against one of the flats that you were meant to hide behind not... hold yourself up as one Wade Wilson knelt behind you with his face nestled between your cheeks and oh god that image was burned into poor Weasel's mind forever.

The younger boy shivered as Wade's tongue licked him open, his hand reaching around Peter's waist to slowly pump the boy's cock. Stroking him enough to have him thrusting forward into the touch but not enough to get him off before Wade was done preparing him.

“Didn't know you were into voyeurism, buddy.” Wade smirked as he stood up, grabbing himself by the base to line himself up and thrust into Peter with one, long stroke. Peter couldn't help moaning past the teeth that he'd sunk into his lower lip to keep quiet.

“And I should have known you two were into exhibitionism.” Weasel sighed, shaking his head as he opened his eyes. This was all a mistake. Most definitely the most horrendous mistake of his life because he was greeted with the fast and hard movement of Wade's cock sliding in and out of Peter's ass. Peter gripping the wall with his spidey-powers to keep himself steady and upright while Wade pounded away, holding Peter by the hips so tightly they were probably going to bruise.

However, it was also successful. In that Weasel managed to get the first ever hit on Wade Wilson because both his and Peter's defenses were completely down and their guns were discarded by their feet. Weasel pointed the laser at Wade's vest, getting the highest point he could before trying to find a strip on Peter's vest that Wade's body wasn't covering and hitting that for more points.

“You're both sick and you're finding your own ride home.” Weasel waved his gun at them in dismissal as he closed his eyes and walked away from the disgusting excuse of a superhero and the anti-hero that had corrupted him. He was going to enjoy the few hours he would have alone in the house because now that they've started... they were probably going to be in that laser tag house for a while... thankfully it was late in the evening that parents wouldn't be bringing their unsuspecting, innocent children there to get their first real life demonstration of anal sex.

“ _HYDRA RULE OF CONCEALMENT #114: IF YOU CAN'T SEE THEM, THEY CAN'T SEE YOU!!_ ” Weasel turned around to glance back into the darkness of the room. Poor Bob had found them and he was definitely going to have nightmares about this for the next three weeks. At the very least, the image of Bob running into the wall as he ran past, hands successfully covering his eyes, was a satisfactory aid in repressing the whole ordeal.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://arrafrost.tumblr.com/)


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